


Two Drunk Guys

by lasairfhiona



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Community: 1_million_words, M/M, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-15
Updated: 2013-08-15
Packaged: 2017-12-23 14:42:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/927715
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lasairfhiona/pseuds/lasairfhiona
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Phil has to deal with his drunk and horny lovers</p><p>1_million_words: weekend challenge</p>
            </blockquote>





	Two Drunk Guys

Phil looked at the clock one more time. He knew he should have sent someone besides Happy along with Clint and Tony when they went out. If ever there were two men who needed a chaperone when they went out to a club, it was those two and while Happy would take care of them, he would only stop them from doing something over the top outrageous. 

Giggles from the back yard had him walking out and standing on the stone patio shaking his head as he spotted his two tipsy lovers bent over looking at something on the step.

"Phil!" Clint called his words slurring. "Look what we found."

Phil smiled indulgently and looked down at the toad Clint had captured. "No you can't keep it," he told his lover before Clint could even ask. He knew by the way the archer was stroking it that would be his next question. 

"Aww..." 

"No Clint, he needs to be kept outside so he can catch bugs." Phil knew that reasoning would have Clint letting the toad stay outside because his lover hated the bugs that swarmed the patio if they forgot to refill the citronella torches.

"Okay," Clint agreed with a slight pout Phil found adorable.

"You two obviously had fun," he commented wanting to hear what Tony had to say as his other lover had yet to speak. He'd just been giggling over Clint's back.

"Yes, until we got pulled over on the way home," Clint said which seemed to give Tony his voice and the genius started his slightly slurred tirade about being pulled over for speeding and being given a ticket. "No one ever give me a ticket. Ever. I don't know why they gave me one this time."

"Happy didn't let you drive did he?" Phil asked worriedly. 

"No, but Tony convinced him to test the upgraded engine in the Rolls," Clint explained as he stood up and supported Tony in the same endeavour. 

"Do I want to ask how fast Happy was going?" Phil knew he'd regret his question when he heard Tony's answer.

"Not too fast," Tony answered. "Only about eighty."

"In a forty-five zone," Clint clarified.

Phil shook his head. "What am I going to do with you two?"

"Take us to bed and punish us?" Clint suggested hopefully.

"Me, not him. He won't be able to get it up for a while. I gave him a blow job in the car," Tony tattled.

"Just because I can't get it up at the moment doesn't mean Phil, or you for that matter, couldn't fuck me," Clint protested. 

Phil just continued to shake his head and smile indulgently at them as they bickered the whole way to their bedroom about who would be able to have sex and who wouldn't. He'd be willing to put money on the fact that ten minutes after they fell into bed they would both be asleep, regardless of how horny they were. He just hoped they didn't get too handsy with him before they passed out. Being horny and frustrated was not what he had in mind for tonight.


End file.
